It was a Friday morning. I woke up feeling heavy, as per usual that late in pregnancy, but also with a new complaint – sporadic back pain. It was the same thing that I’d felt during the very start of my last labour. And the first thing I thought was, ‘I think he’s coming today!’. I waited a couple of hours to see whether it would abate, and when it didn’t I sent a message to my midwife. After a pretty stressful and traumatic birth experience the last time around, I knew that I wanted to do things differently, and so from the get-go we went about planning a homebirth. It was now time to see if our plans would come to pass, or if I’d be having another delivery very different to what I’d imagined.
The midwives arrived at lunchtime and by this point I had begun to have regular contractions. One thing I had been dreading was having to go through ‘back labour’. Two years ago this was probably the worst part of the entire process – excruciating back pain with every contraction. Thankfully this time around it seemed to be focused on the abdomen and much easier to endure. After one cervical check where I was at 4cm and fully effaced, my midwives decided I was, in fact, in real labour and so the set up began.
First thing was covering the floor and couches with plastic sheeting, and then it was setting up the pool. I’d always liked the idea of a water birth and so had purchased a La Bassine birthing pool which was pretty easy to set up. While my husband, mom and midwives took charge of this, I tried to keep mobile – up and down stairs, squats, a short walk to the park – just trying to speed things up and really have a baby before our toddler got home at 6pm! I also introduced our midwives to some of my favourite trash TV shows; one of the benefits of labouring at home I guess.
With a homebirth the midwives check on the baby every 15min. He was doing swimmingly vital-wise, but he was sunnyside up. So we then went about trying to get him to turn with a whole bunch of inversions which definitely tested my stamina. With each contraction I also felt like I had to poop; however I was discouraged from going to the toilet with a horror story from the midwife about how one of her patients went for a supposed bowel movement and ended up with a baby in the toilet! We bargained a bit and the offer was that I could go poop if she did another cervical check. I wasn’t about to go through that again, and so I resigned myself to probably pooping in the pool. Ah the joys of childbirth.
After a few hours of being on the move with not much else happening, my midwife suggested I take a nap. This seemed a bit counterintuitive at the time, but I followed the advice of the experts and lay down on the couch. Thirty minutes later, after a big kick and a gush, my water broke. It was a very distinct feeling. I sat up on our plastic-covered couch, soaked through a couple of puppy pads and then finally got into the pool. I thought I’d need to be checked again to make sure I was 10cm dilated before pushing, but the midwives were very relaxed about it all and just told me to push if I felt like I needed to. It was quite refreshing to feel like I was in control of the experience rather than being told what I could/could not do. They did have a mirror though to check how he was descending, which provided me with some reassurance.
It all happened very fast after that. The contractions came on stronger and I tried my best to push with each one as I clutched my husband’s hand as hard as I possibly could. I knew I’d done this before, but I’d forgotten exactly just how painful childbirth is, especially without any pain relief. I knew exactly when he was crowning, and when I was told to slow down and only ‘push a little’, that was honestly one of the hardest things I’ve done. I just wanted to eject him out of there as quickly as possible. It probably took around 20min of pushing, and I remember hearing my toddler coming through the front door and her crying as my mom took her upstairs. Not long after, just past 6pm, out he came. I turned around, they popped him on my chest wrapped in a towel, and it was done. Eight hours from start to finish.
Now, getting out of the pool was a bit tricky. Baby was still attached to his cord and it was so COLD outside of the pool, but I managed to get onto the couch where they delivered the placenta. No one really mentions that the continued contractions after giving birth to a baby are still really painful! My husband cut the cord (something he missed doing last time thanks to covid restrictions), they assessed baby boy who seemed very calm through it all, and then gave me a couple of stitches. They thought they may have needed to transfer me to the hospital to get stitched up, something I really didn’t want to do. One of the midwives called in and as the only reason they transfer in is for pain relief, I opted instead for some gas-and-air and to have the tears (thankfully not major) repaired at home.
The midwives shifted over at 7pm, and while I had a shower the rest of the team went about emptying the pool and cleaning everything up. It was a surprisingly short amount of time before the living room was pretty much back to normal. Our midwife hung about for a few hours just to make sure I was okay; then we said our goodbyes and thank yous and went to bed with our newborn beside us.
I know a lot of people are apprehensive about giving birth at home, but from my experience, as long as your pregnancy is low-risk and you have a professional team, it can be really successful. I was initially a bit apprehensive, but after having a few conversations with the midwives and being satisfied that they had a very low threshold for when a hospital transfer might be needed, I went into things fairly confident. At the end of the day I was really impressed with my midwife team. They knew exactly what they were doing and I felt very well looked after. I definitely think being at home helped keep me calm, and it was lovely to lie down in my own bed at the end of it all. It was also a plus to have all of my follow-up checks over the next 10 days all done at home.
All in all, I was so glad to have had a home birth. Being comfortable in my own home, with my husband and family there; and not having to do anything I was uncomfortable with was great. It went smoother than I’d hoped, was quicker than I expected, and is something I’d very happily consider again.
I’m super grateful to have added another family member to our little tribe, and can’t wait to see both our kids grow up together.
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